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Burger Wars
BETWIXT TIME-LINE: Flipside, Dark Mirror / Burger Wars, Bad Taste, Children At Play, The Last Laugh, Toon Wars. (note: Burger Wars is what one may call a bit of an experiment - it is a comedic storyarc that will introduce the concept of the Underside and the Trolls as well as expanding a little more on the dark but cartoony concepts being introduced in Flipside that make up a larger shared story) Prologue The story begins twenty years in the past on a stereotypical rainy night complete with flashes of thunder and lightning - outside a large diner with a flashing neon sign stating "Big Bucket". An extremely large, bald male wearing a tattered fry-chef uniform opens the door of the diner and forcibly throws out a skinny figure dressed in the style of an old-fashioned mime, waving a spatula as he clenches a cigar between his teeth. "You're through here, Monsieur Mime.. customers ain't buying this whole "mascot" thing.. plus you're scaring the kids.. so do yourself a favor and find some other joint to stink up.." he declares rather rudely before slamming the door shut. The mime stands up and shakes his fist in a silent display of anger - then turns, putting his hands in his pockets as he walks down the street, the flashing of more lightning accompanying him into the darkness.. Part 1 - Welcome To Lard Burger Fast-forward to the modern age and the same mime now grins happily as a large crowd gathers round the official opening of a new chain of diners named "Lard Burger" - despite the unappetising name the crowd is certainly varied and an elaborate opening ceremony is under way complete with the cutting of a ribbon. Standing next to the mime is a rather obese looking man dressed in a business-suit and having ever-so-slightly pointed ears and what may well be one of the most obvious wigs to ever grace the world for some time. (ooc: edit below if you wish, if you read the intro above you'll already know this is a little bit of an unorthodox story but I hope you'll enjoy it) A pair of unusual figures stand in the crowd, being in their late teens at best - although both are dressed in futuristic armor that conceals most of their features one is clearly male while the other is female: they also clearly have large wings, yet somewhat unusually the crowds don't seem to bother, the couple's unusual appearance being disguised from the crowd via a mix of magic and technology. "..Lard Burger? that sounds - unpleasent.." the female notes. "I dunno, I like it - besides I'm hungry.." the male replies. "..you would say that.." the female sighs, watching the crowds. A teenage boy appears in the crowd, walking up to the strange figures. He pats the female on her shoulder. "Excuse me, but I don't think the two of you belong here... Am I right?" He bows his head and adds. "Oh, and I apologize if I'm being rude.." The mime, somewhat unbelievably, seems to be using his talent of miming to "talk" with bewildered reporters as the crowds continue to chatter amongst themselves - the obese business man taking a few moments to prepare himself before he literally knocks the mime aside with his size and raises his arms in the air dramatically. "Ladies and gentlemen! boys and girls! welcome to the opening of Lard Burger - you buy it, we fry it!" he declares, obviously one of those "loud and proud" types - surprisingly a number of the crowd seem to buy into it and cheer. The female turns to the boy and replies coldly "well generally speaking when one is stealthed they "do not belong".. nor are they usually in the mood for idle conversations with strangers..". The male coughs slightly and begins "..Dox.. hostility isn't going to -" he stops suddenly as he catches sight of the business-man "..wow.. the big guy sure likes his fried food, doesn't he?". The boy looks a bit upset by the cold reply, but then turns his attention to the business man as well. "I don't trust him..." The obese business man gives a strange bow before the crowds, an employee dressed in a very humiliating outfit appears next to the business man and hands him a burger: which he takes in his hand and waves rather dramatically as he yells out: "..let the feasting begin!". The doors of Lard Burger finally swing open and the crowds swarm in, some with more determination than others - as the crowds gather the mime does a silent clapping gesture as the business man simply watches. The boy follows the crowd, entering Lard Burger. As the crowds enter Lard Burger the business man drops the burger on the ground and motions to the mime, who leans over and the business man whispers into his ear: "..keep an eye out for anything unusual, Monsieur - I don't want any goody-two shoe magic-users or wannabe-superheroes messing with my fun.. you understand?". The mime nods and claps his hands silently before he strides off into the crowds, wandering around randomly to "greet" visitors - also keeping an eye on anything suspicious. The boy walks around a bit, before noticing the mime and heading straight for him. The two mysterious figures soon change appearance, taking on the appearance of teenage humans - yet to a trained eye it can be seen as an illusion: the male is already at the counter of Lard Burger and somewhat overly eager to get served. "I'll take the biggest burger you have, actually better make that two.. an extra-large shake.. fries.. extra sauce.. some donuts.. onion fries.. the biggest dessert you got.. oh, hold the onions, I'm on a diet.." he says, rather quickly. Meanwhile the female appears behind the boy and reaches over to touch his shoulder "..wait, you can sense it too - can't you? something's not right about this place.." - she looks around a little and motions over to a quiet spot nearby "..come with me, if you please". A member of staff piles on the food in a rather unusual manner akin to forming a small "mountain" - then hands it over to the mysterious boy while saying "Here's you're meal - don't bust a gut.." the voice is rather unusual, deep and raspy - though one could dismiss it as someone suffering from a sore throat or similar ailment. At the same time the mime performs a random trick for a couple of customers at a table, pretending to cast out an invisible fishing line before reeling it in - the two clap at his antics with amusement before he moves on: moments later the woman seems perplexed as she notices her necklace has suddenly disappeared. Unseen by the couple is a sly smile on the mime's face as he pockets a rather expensive looking necklace in his pocket - he observes the boy heading towards him but doesn't really do anything as he heads towards a door reading "staff only" near the back of the diner. The boy walks up to the door, only then noticing the sign and turning around, heading for the strange couple. Once the mysterious boy starts eating he feels a strange sensation as the food becomes quite addictive, in fact he finds himself becoming more hungry than when he had started. As for the female figure, she is suddenly interrupted when a large clammy hand grabs her shoulder and spins her around to show the obese business-man glowering at her as he speaks in a whispered tone "step into my office, little lady - we have things to discuss..", he motions towards a nearby room and a few staff flank his sides as they try to subtly guide her away from the crowds. The strange couple look to the other boy for a moment, the woman still seeming rather confused as to the absence of her necklace - yet as soon as they take a bite of the rather unappetizing looking Lard Burger products they seem to forget their troubles and ravenously devour everything on their plate. Somewhat disturbingly everyone in the diner seems to be doing the same, many of them going to the counter and ordering second helpings. The boy walks away from the staff-only door and sees the obese business-man speaking to the girl, and decides to follow him. Part 2 - The Ugly Truth The obese business-man leads the girl into a room that soon expands into a large spiralling staircase, he leaves the door slightly ajar - allowing the boy to follow, though he seems to have done so out of carelessness as he keeps a grip on the girl's shoulder with his hand, guiding her down the stairs: flanked at either side by his staff. "..you're in trouble now, girl.." the man notes as he begins to change, along with the staff that are following him - their appearances becoming increasingly deformed, with large claws growing in place of nails and their skin changing into a sickly shade of green, losing their human quality and becoming wrinkled and wart-covered. As this transformation occurs the girl is led to the bottom of the staircase and finds what can only be described as a parallel dimension filled with hundreds upon hundreds of these hideous creatures, many of them are trapped into what appear to be old-fashioned computers, typing madly as others experiment with all manner of chemicals and technology, the creatures seeming to compete with one another in terms of causing chaos. "..though I guess you should feel privileged, in a way, not many have seen Underside - nice place isn't it?" the man notes, his voice changing - becoming more distorted and inhuman. The boy quickly follows the group down the stairs, staying behind them, hoping to figure out what's going on. The girl frowns slightly as she too changes, reverting to her armored-form complete with wings - she looks around and speaks defiantly "..I have a funny feeling you're not just running some new burger-joint.. so come clean.. what's this all about?". The obese man simply lets out a deep laugh, his belly wobbling in the process as he shoves the girl forward - stopping in his tracks as the other creatures begin circling around her: in the background several creatures are sitting around old-fashioned black-and-white television sets watching an old cartoon depicting a rabbit dancing wildly to old tunes - as they do so a few of the creatures carve dolls of the strange figure, placing them into small bags before repeating the process. "..World-domination, kid! Ha! Ha! Ha! You know what they say, a Troll's got to do what a Troll's got to do!" the obese man replies, a grotesque grin spread over his face as he extends his arms out in a dramatic pose. "..Take a good look around, this is the Underside - grand capital of the Troll race.. and what a fine race we are! Ha! Ha! .. Just think.. Hundreds of folk are paying to eat at this dump and we're sucking them dry.. Best thing is they keep coming back for more.. It's the secret ingredient that does it you see.. Very addictive.. I'm talking *crazy* addictive.. But this is just the start, baby! ..You see, You're just in time to witness the start of Phase 2.." he continues, barely able to contain his twisted joy as he rubs his hands together and chuckles darkly to himself, his beady eyes ablaze with malice. The boy walks down the stairs and slowly makes his way towards the girl. The girl simply frowns a little more as she folds her arms across her front, "..world-domination? well, I see you guys have upgraded from hiding under bridges and scaring goats.. pity for you I'm not about to let you mess things up any more than you already have.. so... you better give up: before I get angry..". Suddenly the boy approaching the girl finds himself stopped as a gloved hand grasps his shoulder from behind, revealing the frowning face of Monsieur Mime - his eyes blazing with fury. Meanwhile the obese Troll laughs again, his swollen belly wobbling almost comically in the process - he grins widely, revealing rows of rotten teeth as the other Trolls circle her: the obese Troll speaking out, "Hahaha! Oh baby.. you don't know who you're dealing with.. I'm Gryme.. I'm what's known as a Master Troll.. best of the best.. even if you'd caught me earlier you'd of stood no chance but you see you're waaaaay too late.. like I said: Phase 2 is about to begin.." - he swerves the girl over to a large computer screen, pulling a chair out of nowhere as he places her down and presses a button on a rather cartoony remote-control: keeping one of his hands on her shoulder as he leans in, "..watch this, you're gonna love it!". The girl continues to frown as she says, "..you're nothing but scum.." - however she is caught unaware by the sudden appearance of the chair and finds herself pulled over to a computer screen, a mild look of surprise crossing her face as she thinks to herself <<''..erf, not good.. come on Para.. I need you..''>> Gryme continues to lean close to the girl, grinning widely as the computer screen shows flashbacks of Monsieur Mime in the rain: "..once upon a time there was a Mime down on his luck, a washed-up mascot with no place to go.. eventually in desperation he came to us for help.." - the screen shows the mime conversing with a cloaked figure who soon pulls a lever, transporting the mime into an alien dimension - "..we took him to Underside and made a pact with him, a sacred pact - he wanted to return to his former glory and we wanted a chance to have some fun.. it was a win-win situation.. as a little "bonus" we even gave him a Troll Charm.. a sign of our generosity.." - the screen changes to show a picture of Lard Burger - "..Lard Burger was the result of this pact, Monsieur Mime is back in the spotlight - folks love this new diner.. we Trolls make sure of that.. however now that the mime has what he wants it's time for us Trolls to get our share of the deal.." - the screen flicks, showing a massive Lard Burger symbol on what appears to be a flag - "..Operation: Burger Wars.. it's aggressive.. it's inventive.. it's completely insane.. plus it's great for Lard Burger's business..". The girl frowns then suddenly begins to spark with black lightning, rising to her feet as she clenches her fists - causing the computer screen to crack and shatter: she spins around and looks at Gryme "..you're not going to harm anyone, Gryme.. I won't let you..". Category:Story Category:Storyarcs Category:Fantasy Category:Comedy Category:Dark Category:Betwixt